How To Eliminate Ego & Develop The True Self


In waking life, everyone has their dark and light sides. Everyone is a bit positive and a bit negative. It is up to each of us as individuals to learn about our own dark side and seek to make changes so that there can be more light.

In real life, there was someone in the past whose dark side made messes in my life. They themselves remain largely unconscious of the impact. Their negative actions actually triggered a lot of ego-response in me. What I mean by this is that the more they were aggressive towards me, for example, and I had to cope with it, then negative patterns started to develop within me as a result. And this led to my life not really going in the direction I wanted it to go in. I couldn’t develop myself the way I wanted to in my home life, my work life or my community life because of this negative pattern.

Over time, the more I learned to detach and transcend the negative fear-based responses within myself, the less control the person had over me to make me feel negatively. Even though sometimes words they said would still echo in my mind long after they said them.

When the negative person no longer had such influence on me externally, I still had to work on the impact they made in my memories. The longer a negative person is in your life the more memories there are to work with and the more time it will take to eliminate the negative.

I’ll give you an example of what I mean.

Let’s say someone you work with, a boss for example, criticizes your behaviour at work. Let’s say they tell you that you are no good at handing in reports and you are lazy or something like that. When you go home, you will remember what they said, maybe even hear them say it again and you might come to believe this message and find you are also no good at filling out paperwork at home either and lack motivation. You’ve let their words echo in your mind and influence how you see yourself and how you behave, even long after leaving work.

Now let’s say you permanently leave your work environment because of the negative conditions. It will take time and diligence to notice when you are letting the old negative experience of the critical boss influence you even when you are now in a new and positive environment with a positive boss.

When you find yourself doubting your ability to perform in one way or another, you can check in and see if you were “letting your old boss in your head” so to speak.

Whatever quality or capacity you use to decrease the influence of the old memory on you is a part of your Higher Self. And eventually in time even the old memories can no longer influence you either. It’s like turning down the volume on the negatives and turning up the volume on the positives.

In this case, with practice the virtue missing can be developed eventually. Then there would be Orderliness and Enthusiasm, for instance. With a lot of these put together, there is no room for inadequate reports and laziness anymore.

I’m trying to show in this example how when you change the way you think of yourself, or the way you let others speak of you or about you, then you can think of yourself in new and positive ways.

Napolean Hill said it best when he proclaimed, “What you can Conceive, and Believe, you can Achieve.”

And this is true, even for simple things such as getting a form filled out.
In essence, when you first do inner work on your thoughts and then do outer work on your behaviours you can in fact create a new self.

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