Changework & Relationships: Dispelling 5 Myths

Relationship Myth # 1 – If you are in a relationship other men will leave you alone. 

This seems not to be the case. In my experience in the past two years, when I told men I was in a relationship with someone I really cared about, this seemed to attract the attention of my male friends/colleagues and make them even more interested in me.

Relationship Myth #2 – Sex has nothing to do with advancing in a career for women.

I thought just because I could separate my work relationships from my personal/intimate relationships that I would be able to advance in my profession. While this is true in principle, in reality, because it’s a pattern that’s been in our culture for so long it still permeates work environments/relationships and taints the effectiveness of women’s ability to perform her career skills at her best because of the way men act, consciously or unconsciously.

Relationship Myth #3 – If a woman just says ‘No’ the man will accept that and move on.

As it turns out, even when a man is given no signs of physical attraction, and even when a woman tells him outright that she is not interested, this doesn’t stop him from trying. How exhausting for women to have to navigate this at the same time as put real effort into applying professional skills to a career.

Relationship Myth # 4 – A woman’s perspective is just as valuable as a man’s.

This doesn’t appear to be the case either. It seems that if there are two ways to look at a situation, event, relationship, that the man’s opinion is taken as fact and the woman’s is easily discounted as “convoluted.” What is it that makes the man’s version of the story an accepted “norm” while the woman’s side is taken as nonsensical.

Relationship Myth # 5 – When a woman acts out to defend herself she’s judged as over-emotional, while if a man does the same it’s rewarded and applauded.

Don’t get me wrong. I fully realize I’m making broad generalizations but I do feel they are relevant. When woman and men do the exact same behavior, a woman is judged and a man is applauded by other men. Since the professional realms are still dominated by men for the most part, this means women consistently are negated and denied opportunity for advanccement.

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