Positive Dream About Receiving a Gift

15 September 2017

In the dream, a guy and I are walking outside of a building to a yard where he has a collection of special items which he treasures. He shows me one and it’s beautiful. I tell him that. He picks it up and shows me details of it. It’s sort of like a music box with a very detailed scene on the top with figurines. He tells me that he bought it for me as he uses the tip of his fingers to polish in a few spots. Somehow it feels like the most special gift I’ve ever received and I tell him thank you. I love it.

When we turn to walk back he puts his arm around me and I put mine around him. I feel so close to him right there.

My analysis: Sometimes positive dreams come as a reminder of the good times so that it is easier to call this to mind when something comes up in the day which makes it easy to forget.

In this case. the dream is reminding me that sometimes the very simplest of gifts can  have a huge impact and be very meaningful. Gifts in a dream are symbols for gifts of character in real life. A music box is something which plays music and lifts the spirit. So the dream is reminding me to notice how sharing of gifts, of skills, in relationships can lift the spirit.

What I can do is think about what relationships in my life can be uplifted and how I can share my inner gifts with others to bring joy.

Sometimes a positive dream like this shows up to remind you of something you are really good at because you will need those skills for what is coming up next.

What is a positive dream you’ve had lately? Can you think of how it applies to a gift you have in real life? Please share your comments below!

Dreamwork: Dealing With Someone’s Ego Mess and Moving Forward

13 September 2017

Dreamwork requires asking questions of the dream metaphors.

For example … What is a Mess On The Front Lawn?

The front lawn in the part of the yard seen by everyone. It is the most public part of a home-owners space.

A Mess is a good metaphor for the Ego. An Ego Mess is what happens when someone’s negative ego is trying to make someone else look bad to hide their own weakness & mistakes. The mess can be made up of lies, half-truths, deception, trickery, degradation, mocking, humiliation, chastisement and outright abuse.

A Mess On The Front Lawn left by someone else means someone is doing something which is making a mess of things for me and they are doing it by dumping a lot of stuff on me that doesn’t belong to me.

So what is it that someone can be doing that is making a big mess of my life and making me look bad, ruining my reputation with my landlord and creating issues between me and my neighbours?

There is someone in my life who is related to me who does exactly that. However, the battle with her is over now. When the dream shows up with her in it, I know it is left over feelings about the way she used to be, the way she used to treat me. And as I let go of the old negatives then I make room for new positives.

Everyone has dreams or nightmares about what happens to them when someone creates an ego mess in their lives. The way we learn to deal with the negatives strengthens our own character and is a breeding ground for seeds of positive growth and change.

The solution to this dream is to not stand still frozen on the lawn wondering what to do next. The solution is to 1) ask the owner to take her things off my lawn 2) talk directly to my ex-step-dad to see if he’ll take it all off 3) report the situation to the police 4) throw all the stuff in the trash and be done with it.

The key is that there are always options. Standing still and frozen does nothing for anyone.

When someone brings a big ol’ mess into your life, just assess the situation, make a decision and keep on movin’.

Getting rid of the clutter and trash is a great way to begin opening the doors to many more great opportunities.

Dreamwork/Changework: Working Through Strong Feelings of Anger, Rage …

[Editorial Note/Update: In the past, I used to write about strong negative emotions and the way to work through them to get to the positive opposite as a way to demonstrate how to make really powerful transformation happen immediately. This approach that I use works every time, is long-lasting, and profound. However, I am no longer using this open forum to demonstrate the process of transformation publicly. This post, written back in September 2017, is an example of those kinds of “process posts” I used to do. What Courage and Confidence it takes to share such a personal experience in such a public way! The key in any transformation is to notice the negative, notice where it shows up in the body, name the emotion and then use a variety of ways to let it go. Either with visualization techniques or with various writing exersizes the emotion can really be detached from nearly entirely and a much more positive experience can be brought to light. So I just ask when you read this to not judge me and to understand where I was coming from when I wrote this. I was writing as a way to support others who are still living with their abusers, who are still suffering in domestic violence situations, who are trapped in their own anger/rage and don’t see a way out. I hope my open posts about processing negatives provides a way out. That is my intention. Thank you.]

13 September 2017

Anyone who knows me will tell you that my sense of direction is weak.

I can turn out onto a street and then lose track of where I am going and have to turn around again. At this point in my life I realize that even though I have gotten better to a degree in this area, I will likely never have a “good sense of direction.” My mind is just not equipped with excellent spacial awareness. With attention and effort it has gotten better, yes, but it will likely never be 100%.

If someone is driving with me and going through the period of “I’m a bit lost/turned around … just give me a second” it can cause anyone a relative degree of frustration. I understand that. What I need at that time is to just get myself grounded and centered again until I can re-focus and continue on. I need a few minutes. I need a breather.

When I don’t get what I need, which sometimes happens because it’s inevitable that things do not always go the way we want in life, I find myself getting angry.

Sometimes when I’m feeling angry I can feel the heat rising in my chest and I can feel my face get hot. Who knows if I actually turn red but I can feel the anger as though it’s burning in my eyes and lips. I don’t like to feel that way. I’d prefer to avoid it. In the past, I used to endure a high degree of negative behaviour no matter how angry it made me feel, but not anymore.

Now, as soon as I start to feel that hot anger rising within me I start thinking about what I can do to change. Sometimes I can change the way I’m looking at a situation. Sometimes I can change where I am or what I’m doing. Sometimes I can change the way I’m speaking. The possibilities for change are endless.

Taking a few big deep breaths and coming at a conversation with a fresh perspective is always helpful in dealing with a situation which is causing anger.

In the past, I also used an Anger work sheet created by Richard Hastings. The questions on this work sheet would help me notice what was causing the anger. There are questions such as: when was the earliest time I remember feeling that kind of anger?how do I cause this to myself? and then also what can I do to have more Peacefulness?

Going through this worksheet helped me to take responsibility for my strong emotions and it really helped me to turn them around to something much more productive & positive.

If you haven’t had the chance to work through your anger in this way, I’d strongly recommend it. You might be surprised at the high degree of Peacefulness & Gratitude which emerges.

Notice Narcissistic Mind-Manipulations When They Show Up … then let them go

24 December 2017

Christmas seems to really bring out the best and worst in people. Many times issues which exist in a family all year ’round surface at this time. Sometimes there is someone in a family who is a covert narcissist. It means on the surface they give the appearance of being friendly and altruistic and in public have a very positive face but their deep self is troubled and disturbed so they have a very negative private face. This shows up a lot of times at this time of year.

When you identify what the narcissist in the family is trying to do to upset you then you can just observe the behaviour and detach from it. You don’t have to take their negativity into yourself and you don’t need to act or react to them.

Here are some things they may do and tips for letting them go:

  1. Challenge – Being Deceptive Without Telling a Lie – When you call them on the phone they may have another family member in the room but when you ask how they are doing they may tell you something like, “Oh, my friend was here but she left,” to give you the impression she is alone. Then when you are having your conversation in truth there is someone else listening but you are not aware. This is a mind-game because there’s things that you would say in private with someone you are close with that you would not say if there was an audience. The narcissist is trying to mess with your perceptions of whether you are in privacy or public space. She is also trying to embarrass you.

Solution – Let the person know that what they did came across as deceptive and that you didn’t appreciate their dishonesty. Then get out of the conversation as quickly as possible because they will just try to use this as a hook to get you into an argument with them. Don’t fall for it. Let it go. Let them go. Forget it.

2. Challenge – They don’t Invite you to a Family/Holiday Gathering – What they are trying to do here is exclude you and make you feel lonely and left out. They want you to feel bad. This type of tactic is most likely some sort of punishment for what they perceive as bad behaviour on your part. They will use your absence in the gathering as further proof of your “badness” and as an opportunity to back-bite.

Solution – Tell them how it felt to be excluded from the family gathering in as brief and few words as possible. You aren’t going for an apology you are just making a blunt point so that the are aware that you saw what they did and you didn’t like it. Then, for real, as difficult as this may seem, you have to let it go. Don’t stay with the negative feeling. Let it go. And move on. Fill your day with things you enjoy doing and celebrate your own Strength, Enthusiasm and Joy. You can feel grateful that you are not trapped in an awful environment with them, with everyone pretending everything is fine. Be real. Be True to Yourself. Enjoy!

3. Challenge – They Go Behind Your Back to Communicate With Your Young Children – This one is hard to explain. Them talking to your children, or sending them money is not the/a problem. The issue is that a narcissist will do anything they can to try to rustle your feathers and get you upset. When you don’t get upset, that just keeps them trying and trying to do anything they can. The proper channels for a grand-parent to send money to their grand-children is through their own child. There really needs to be no other way. For the narcissist to go behind your back to find out when and where your child is when she is away from you is outright creepy and just disturbing behaviour. This has to stop IMMEDIATELY.

Solution – Since you likely have a better relationship with your ex than you do with the narcissist there is not a lot to worry about here. Just let the narcissist know you are aware of what they did and in a kind and firm tone tell them that you don’t like what they did and ask them to stop. If necessary contact the authorities to report staulking-type behaviour. No one wants to put out a restraining order on their own family member but if it has to come to that there are legal channels.

4. Challenge – The Narcissist in your Family Gives Gifts/Money to Your Sister and Your Daughter But Not You – Christmas is a time for sharing and gift-giving. Sometimes the Family Narcissist will use this as an opportunity to embarrass or exclude a targeted person in the family. If you have been at the bull’s eye targeted end of the narcissist’s attacks then it is possible they did something with their gifts to try to make you feel bad.  

Solution – Well, this one is simple really, even if it is not entirely intuitive. If you do not want or expect anything from your Family’s Narcissist then when you don’t get anything you will not feel frustrated or disappointed. Easy-Peesy Lemon Breezy. Besides, the holidays are more about giving and sharing than receiving so do your part to give and share where you heart prompts you and detach from the rest.

As you can see, every solution involves just detaching from the negative behaviour of the narcissist and focusing on the positives in your own Self and life. Stay out of the conflict by giving your fullest attention to the things which you enjoy the most and in areas where you are building up positive environments for yourself and others. Keep your Vision uplifted and clearly focused on the positive future and you will find one day what you hoped would happen one day is happening NOW. And you will find all the hard efforts worthwhile 1000x better than ever expected. 

Dream: Amusement Park Ride in the Livingroom

08 September 2017

This dream has a unique symbol – an amusement park ride in the livingroom. In the past, dreams of amusement park rides have been about having a sense of fun & adventure even in somewhat negative situations and pushing my writing beyond the bounds of my comfort zone. 

To dream of this in a livingroom means I am bringing this sense of adventure into the home. It wasn’t my home so it means I already do this with others and there’s something now to apply to my own self/home.

In the dream I am visiting friends and there are a lot of people there enjoying a large potluck dinner.

After leaving the outside patio area and going back into the livingroom, I found the host of the house was sitting at his music studio area.

When I saw him, he invited me to join him in his music-making. I sat on what I thought was a chair but then when he played the music it lifted me up and I spun around the whole livingroom like it was an amusement park ride.

It spun around a few times and was really fun. I loved it!

When I got off I was in another room waiting to go outside again and getting ready to go and then a woman came over bragging about how she had helped a child but then when she turned her back the child fell down the stairs. Many adults rushed down to see if she was okay and I could just see she was laying still. It looked like she was conscious but was hard to tell the extent of her injuries.