January 16, 2018
In the dream, I find myself in a house with scientists who are experimenting with mind-control. I figure out right away what’s going on but the others with me have no idea. It doesn’t take long to realize that my knowing what is going on puts the others at risk because if the captors want to, they can manipulate me to do things because I don’t want to cause harm to the others.
They have it set up like a ski resort for group team-building exercises but what the captors do is set up little small experiments to see how people react in different scenarios. When they see someone handling all the situations with a lot of skill, they present harder and harder tasks & challenges. Eventually they create a fear-based perimeter out of negative experiences so that even when the test-subjects decide they are done and they want to leave, they stay anyway because they fear leaving will be more painful than staying. As I write this, I realize it is the same technique used by abusers on their targets, especially in domestic situations.
So, I figure out really quickly what is going on and then it is as though I am watching the scientists watch me. I do their little tasks and I decide when the time is right to show them I’m good at something because then I watch what they do as they move me into the next level of experiments. In their mind, the highly-skilled people will be offered a position which they think cannot be refused. But in my mind, I am looking for a way out for myself and the others. It takes REALLY quick thinking on my part to be ahead of them all the time.
At one point, a captor leaves a painting on the counter, it’s half finished. A wing and body of a butterfly have been painted and there is enough paint to finish it. I can tell they are watching to see if I put two-and-two together and use the paint to finish the butterfly. If I do that, it shows great reasoning skills and I move to the next level. If I don’t do that, it shows where my blocks are and then they work with that too. So I decide when I want to complete the butterfly. When I complete it, their interest is peaked and one of the big, butchy guys approaches me.
Eventually he gets on my nerves and I punch him in the face a bunch of times. It wasn’t to knock him out, just to stun him, confuse him. And it worked.
The woman captor watched and I could see her assessing the situation – “How to regain control of me now?” … I didn’t react. Just waited to see what she did next.
There were other scenes which happened before this moment. My driving a car, a situation in a parking lot, etc. At every moment they watched to see that instructions were followed to the T. When I wasn’t following instructions but yet still gave them the same results they wanted it really confused them.
The problem was not about physical torture or confinement. The problem was about being psychologically tortured & confined. I could easily find a way to get me out but could not figure out how to help the others escape. It seemed any action I took to help them escape would just turn them against me.
So in that moment, face-to-face with the dominatrix, I was trying to put together a plan which would help others escape without them turning on me.