This article by Richard Hastings is about bullying in the school yard but I’m sure the same solution applies when the bully is in a family or in a workplace. The bully figures out that those around them in the family have a lot of fear and uses that to their advantage to get their own way. If the other family members or the other co-workers had a lot of Courage then the bully would go away. Dynamics in families are different than in schools or workplaces but I’m sure the solution is the same: less fear, more Courage.
When there a bully in the schoolyard, he takes advantage of the fact that most of the children have a lot of fear. He can push his weight and size around because he is pretty certain no one is going to challenge him. He gains access to the feeling of power and getting what he wants. In the traditional approach to dealing with the bully, the bully is the problem that the school has to get rid of. A lot of effort is put into disciplining the bully. What isn’t so apparent is that the bully is only taking advantage of the fact that there is a huge amount of fear. If the school were filled with the virtue of courage, the energy it doesn’t have now, then the bully could be easily taken care of.
Courage is the capacity to go for a particular goal where there is a…
In the dream, I am on a roller coaster track, climbing the rails, racing someone else who is doing the same. We’ve got equal abilities so it’s hard to see who is winning.
At another part, I’m at the home of the Woodward’s, where I spent a lot of time as a child. Dust is everywhere and a fan is blowing them around. I tell the mom I’ll clean it up and I keep trying to find a way to do that. Finally I find a vacuum which will clean it up.
The mom is happy and leaves donuts & coffee for us. I collect them from the front porch and bring them to my friend, who is her daughter. I’m better at cleaning than she is so I’m hoping the treats make up for it and alleviate her jealousy.
Also there’s another part where I’m crossing a busy road on a bike and I make sure there are no cars coming and then cross. When I’m halfway across I spot a cop car parked on the shoulder about a block down. I hop off the bike and rush to the other side of the street. The cop doesn’t take issue with my jay-walking and I get back on my bike and continue on my way.
In the dream, I am in a convenient store, looking at packs of cigarettes, deciding which ones I should buy. I notice there is a 2-pac with 40 cigarettes discounted and I think I’ll buy those.
I don’t buy them but when I go outside I find a friend and we are walking together. She says she’s memorized the route and neither of us have our phones with us. We start walking and eventually get into this forested area where it’s dark and wet like it’s recently rained.
Something happened here, like an encounter with a large animal but I can’t recall details.
Eventually some others joined us and I think we navigated the way.
In the dream I am walking around holding my left rib which has somehow moved outside of my skin. There’s this weird sensation like the rib is supposed to be on the inside of the lung but has moved outside of it, even though in real life that’s not the way it is. That’s how it was in the dream.
So I’m there in this snowy place and someone who’s been there longer is trying to convince me to play in a sprinkler. To me, that’s just bizarre. Why place in water when you are wearing a snow suit and it’s freezing outside. But the woman was trying to convince me that it’s fun.
So then someone comes by, maybe my mom, and I show her my rib and she says it’s no big deal and walks away and I’m standing there thinking, “My rib is outside of my body. How can this not be a big deal?” And I’m trying to figure out how to get myself to the hospital.