A Sonnet For my Daughter

Oh! The trauma, the terror, the turmoil…

How I miss my love, my Heart, my Daughter!

Now this joyful heart ripped out; my plans soiled.

Now what has made our connection falter?

Once here, so creative, funny, so sweet,

Now somewhere but where? I seek but can’t find.

Flew on a plane to an unknown retreat?

Haunting visions of loss ghosting my mind.

“I’m here safe” she says – a truth and a lie,

My love, my Heart, my blood, my Everything!

God, guard me from this faulty alibi.

Why’d you go? Why administer this Sting?

Once here, bold & bright like a trumpet blast!

It seemed our Forever yet didn’t last.

Now it’s no blame of yours; no blame of mine,

I miss you – you are in my Heart each day.

Our Life is a journey traveled in time,

I cherish you – in my Heart you will stay.

My message to you if I have just one –

(it’s not a ploy to attract some strange gain)

Don’t waste your young days in turmoil or shun

Life always consists of sunshine and rain

Your quick departure feels like shattered glass,

No matter the pain though, no matter the scar,

Despite My fragmented heart – this shattered mass,

I love you here and I love you a far.

I know that you know that my love is deep & true

No matter the distance I always Love YOU.

[This is a Shakespearean style sonnet with rhyming pattern abab cdcd efef gg and 10 syllables per line. ]

Dogs in dreams are about loyalty and friendliness

WordPress has a new feature called My Story. This is my first attempt at making a story.

You would think that a “story” about dogs as a metaphor would have only photos with dogs in them. I assure you I was with Chloe in every scenario but sometimes she wouldn’t pose for the camera. Haha.

But that’s how loyalty and friendship work. Sometimes you’re together and sometimes you’re not and that’s ok.

When a dog shows up in a dream if the dream is positive it means the dreamer has no issues with friendliness & loyalty so they can keep moving forward in life using these qualities often.

If the dream is somewhat negative (like mine have been) it means there’s an issue around loyalty in real life and it’s a good time for the dreamer to consider and explore where the issues came from in the past and start working through it. I’ll be exploring this in more detail in upcoming posts.

Happy Dreamworking!

Chloe standing proud on a bolder in a stream after an hour-long hike in the hilly forest

My Daughter was 13 when she first ran away – How I overcame the Grief, Shock & Pain

I’m busy cleaning a wealthy estate in downtown Vancouver. It’s summer 2018. I’ve been running my own cleaning business on the side for about a decade and it’s been easy to get established in a new town by setting up a cleaning business. Despite having a decade experience in education and community development, I run this cleaning business so I can create my own hours and have lots of time at home with my 13 year old daughter. She’s been at her father’s in Fort McMurray for a summer visit and then I receive a text, “I’m gonna live here now Mom.” The words are like a stab to the heart. My heart feels shattered in 1000 pieces. It’s not so much that I didn’t want her to live with her father but that I wanted us to plan it together, to set it up, to do it in time for me to prepare and budget and be able to say a proper goodbye. But all that is taken from me. When I go home and see her room I bawl harder than ever in my life. It feels like she’s died. It feels like a death. The grief is so intense my head falls to the table as I sob and I feel like I will never be able to get up again.

But I do get up again. And in a few days she changes her mind and says she’s coming home on the scheduled flight. What a relief! My daughter is home. My heart still holds the cracks and scars from the experience but she’s here with me now and I’m so relieved!!

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

When I’m working through a huge amount of negative energy there are specific steps I take to flip the negative to a positive.

How to use a metaphor to transform anger & hurt into tranquility & connection

For the past month I’ve been remembering a lot of my dreams when I wake up in the morning. Most of them have been somewhat negative with threatening images or metaphors. Angry lions, snakes, alligators and bears have been in my dreams. I’ve been trying to run, trying to hide, trying to outwit them. I’ve also dreamed of bombs & fire, of being displaced, losing loved ones or being forced to live with malicious-minded people. My dreams were telling me something was going on in my real life which needed a lot of attention. Something negative was coming. Maybe several negative things in a row. I could feel it intuitively.

Then some stuff started happening in the real world. I didn’t see real lions, snakes, alligators or bears but some people I’m dealing with were showing negative behaviours as though they were vicious lions, poisonous snakes, relentless alligators and powerful bears. Suddenly I’m dealing with a lot of people’s egos & the result was I started feeling a lot of hurt & anger.

When I start doing the work to process the hurt and anger I learn a lot about myself, the people involved and the situation. I use metaphors to think about the feelings to help me understand the challenges at a deeper level.

When I feel hurt it FEELS LIKE MY HEART HAS SHATTERED LIKE BROKEN GLASS OR MIRROR. Of course, no one really shattered my mirrors or glasses in the house and no one even physically harmed me with any weapon or object. I didn’t really SHATTER….I just FELT as thought I had shattered. Since the negative emotion of hurt made me feel shattered it means that what I need is to feel connected. The solution to the negative emotion is the positive opposite of the metaphor. Since I’m feeling shattered…it means what I need to get to is a feeling of connection, of bringing many pieces together. The process that it takes to move from feeling shattered to feeling connected is where the transformation takes place.

The other strong negative emotion I’m feeling about the things people said or did is anger. When I feel angry I feel like I’m burning up. I FEEL like I’m burning at the stake. I FEEL like burning others, like getting revenge, but I have enough self-control not to but still the anger burns me alive. The feeling I have is anger but what I need is Tranquility. I feel like I’m in fire but what I need is to feel like I’m gliding down a river in a canoe. I feel like I’m dying but what I need is to feel the Tranquil serenity of floating down a river in summer. The work that I do to move from the feeling of being burned alive at the stake to feeling like I’m floating down a river in a canoe is where the transformation takes place.

Since I’m not REALLY burning at the stake it means I’m working with an image in my mind. By understanding the image, the metaphor, the feelings, the thoughts and behaviours associated with this anger then I can get to what I really want which is Tranquility in my life & in my relationships.

When you feel hurt what is the metaphor or image that comes to mind for you? What about anger? …. When you are angry what is it like – is it like detonating a bomb? like wanting to light a house on fire? like a boiling water pot about to explode? Give it some thought and share your comments in the section below. Also, remember to subscribe to Healing With Dreamwork and tell us what dream metaphors you would like to know more about.

Photo by Jason Toevs on Pexels.com