Category Archives: Healing With Dreamwork

The Positives of Psychopathic Behaviour: Flipping Never-ending Negatives to Perpetual Positives – Part Three

This is the third and final part on the series on psychopaths. The purpose of this short series is to help you identify a possible psychopath in your personal circle, to consider positive ways to cope with the negative behaviours and finally to visualize positive ways to flip the negatives to positives.

What is really wonderful about being in a close association with a psychopath is that there is never a dull moment. Since they love drama and tend to stir the pot & cause conditions of chaos with their lies or misinformation campaigns, then there is always an opportunity to keep looking at the negatives and finding the positives.

My favourite emotions to work with are fear, anger, jealousy & sadness. A psychopath is a master at stirring these up in individuals. Usually, their intention is to seek to find a person’s emotional weak spots and push on them in order to try to topple them. When others are toppled in their emotional state of frailty, then the psychopath can carry on with their (sometimes criminal) agendas. In order for their schemes to work, they must confuse and disorient their associates. Their manipulations will be determined by whatever is the most pressing desired outcome.

Most modern psychiatry only deals with trying to get rid of the negatives but that’s not the way I’ve been trained to do things. In my work, I become friends with the negatives, become friends with the negative emotions and I walk with others through their darkest moments until we get to the positive other side.

You can think of it as walking through a wall, or breaking a wall down. Think of it as escaping a prison cell, or using a flashlight in the fog. Think of it as being calm in a storm, bright in the black night. A navigator in a stormy sea. Whatever someone else is going through, no matter how dark, there is a bright and positive potential for that negative emotion.

When trauma has caused the negative, then it is a good idea for the person to get some help from a healing professional and there are many good ones in the world. Does early trauma cause psychopathy? Or is is a learned trait? Or is it inherited? There is so much to be learned.

What I find exciting about working with psychopaths is that their perpetual negatives can be flipped to perpetual positives. Imagine what that would be like? Continuous waves of positives like Courage, Confidence, Calm and Enthusiasm flowing into day-to-day life perpetually. Wouldn’t that be amazing?

When I work with criminals, I don’t mind when the negatives show up because those are my favourite to work with. That’s where the very most positives emerge from. That’s where the deepest and most profound growth begins.

About Developing Friendliness & Assertiveness

11 February 2018

Lately, I’ve been dreaming a lot about police, being arrested, being questioned and then released, let go, without charges or incident.

This means there is a part of myself which is a lot like a friendly police officer.

When I am acting like a friendly police officer, I am demonstrating qualities of friendliness & assertiveness. When I’m friendly and assertive, things continue going in positive directions in life, as they do and would for anyone demonstrating these virtues.

People who have a hard time being friendly and assertive usually struggle because they are lying, being deceptive, or seeking out alternative motives like power, authority, money, prestige, etc.

Being genuinely friendly & assertive is just about being True to Yourself and having calm determination especially at crucially important times.

 

Abuse & Dreamwork: A Deeper Look at How Nightmares Can Trigger Great Change

21 January 2018

I am in my home with my young daughter when suddenly news comes that there is a flood coming directly at the house. Panic sets in and I go into emergency mode, getting supplies and creating a plan to get me and my family to high ground.

In this dream, I don’t ever get to high ground. I dream merely of hearing that the flood is coming and deal with the enormous panic. This dream signaled the first time I really woke up to the concept of a Dream being able to change an abusive pattern in real life.

It was 2009 when I dreamed of this flood in my home. Home/house is a symbol for Self in a dream and a flood is about emotions, relationships, life. Having water flood a house is a symbol of a relationship out of balance. It’s about grief, and loss, and devastation. The dream was signalling that a relationship was out of balance which would cause my self to be devastated. When I started to look around in my real life to see who was behaving in a way which would be hurtful to me and devastate my Self, I did find someone.

At the time, I was living with my young daughter in a home which I was renting from my Mom and her husband at the time. My own husband of 9 years was working in a city 45 minutes away and had begun getting closer to a co-worker, which was serious enough that when he moved out of our marital home, they made their relationship known and eventually they moved in together and stayed in a relationship for two more years.

The house we lived in was old and in need of a lot of repair. The worst of the issues was something which ultimately became a battle between the city and the landlord. A tree root had grown through and broke apart one of the sewage pipes beneath the basement. This caused the sewage to back up and flood the basement floor plus a horrid, rancid odor began to permeate the downstairs floor.

I don’t remember exactly when the odor issue and flooding first started but I remember when it ended. It began sometime in Spring of 2009, worsened in summer and was unlivable by Autumn. The city wanted the landlords to fix it & the landlords wanted the city to fix it. Meanwhile, I was living in a home with an infant which smelled, quite literally, like an outhouse.

So after repeatedly asking the landlord to fix it I decided one day to just leave. I couldn’t live there anymore. I found another place to stay and then over the course of the next two weeks returned regularly to empty & clean the house. It was devastating.

My marriage was over. And now I was homeless. Plus I was only working part-time. Plus I had a 4 year old with me who needed me to be at my best.

I didn’t see it at the time but I see it now: The people around me were only looking out for themselves. In this case, the dream of the flood was a lot like my real life flooded basement.

In time, I started paying closer attention to dreams and making changes, or going for opportunities inspired by those messages, and in time my life started getting better and better. My relationship with my daughter greatly improved and became so playful, carefree and happy. My living arrangements keep getting better & better. My employment keeps getting better and better. My professional career keeps getting better and better. My relationship with my significant other keeps getting better & better.

The reoccurring dreams & nightmares of floods stopped. People who were abusing me stopped getting their own way to devastate my life. And in real life I found High Ground.

 

 

 

Dream: Alligators at Marineland

17 September 2017

In the dream, I was at Marineland, Niagara Falls, Ontario. I was standing there between the audience and the performance in the pool and I was staring at this pitiful looking waterfall. It was hardly larger than the type of waterfall you see outside a library or town hall.

“That is their version of ‘Marineland’?” I said to myself. I just stared at it like “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

There were no whales or dolphins either. There were about a dozen alligators. One had leaped out onto the deck area and was looking for food.

I just kept staring at the people who had paid to see “Marineland” and got alligators and a pitiful waterfall.

“How can it be that people are so disillusioned?” I wondered to myself. How can it be?

My analysis of this dream:

Well, this dream is about the illusion people have and the way people can be deceived if they are not looking at things through their own eyes. Sometimes people are fooled by a title or a headline which says one thing but the opposite is presented. A pool with alligators and a water fountain is hardly a captivating spectacle but with skilled marketing departments and a lot of money invested into creating an illusion people can pretty much believe just about anything.

I guess this dream is just reminding me that this is a real issue in our world today and something people should really think about.

Alligators are the kinds of animals who conceal and camouflage themselves in swampy waters, watching their prey, until just the right moment and then … SNAP! Attacked & killed, the poor deer or whatever didn’t even know what hit them.

This dream reminds me that our society is a bit sick-in-the-head because they actually even think of this kind of activity as entertaining. Media outlets like TV, Radio & Social Media have turned people into alligators & prey, with live audiences watching as real people’s emotions are destroyed.

I can only hope this type of so-called entertainment is temporary and that in time humans will no longer get a thrill out of watching others suffer. The more empathy & compassion we have for others, the deeper our relationships are/will be. In time, humanity will not tolerate these kinds of public abuses of others. That would be so nice, wouldn’t it?

If You Dream of a Clogged Toilet, Start Looking For Better Ways to Let Go of Your S*&T.

17 September 2017

One of the most misunderstood metaphors in DreamWork/Changework is theIMG_0874 BATHROOM. Using a bathroom in a dream can best be understood by first noticing where is the bathroom? Is it in your home? Or a public location like a restaurant or school? Is it in an unusual place like an open field? The location of the bathroom in your dream can give you clues as to the message of the metaphor.

The problem with writing or talking about bathrooms in dreams is because they are the most private parts of a home or a public space. A bathroom dream symbolizes the most private parts of the dreamer. How the dreamer deals with anger, jealousy and embarrassment will show up as a dream about using the bathroom.

The positive message about a bathroom dream is that every human being experiences anger, rage, jealousy or embarrassment at one time or another in their lives. Since the purpose of life is to continue growing and developing skills & capacities it means the best way to live is in a constant state of change. Sometimes change is messy and sometimes it’s embarrassing. That is completely okay and to be expected. The better a person gets at working through their anger, jealousy, disappointments, anxieties, etc the better they will get at making their life really work out in amazing ways.

In my dreamwork this morning I was reminded that I have a tendency to hold things in and not want to share the very most private parts of myself. People might chuckle at this, given the very public nature of The Dreamwork Blog but believe it or not, I tend to be more of an introvert and there are parts of myself which I really don’t want to share publicly.

This goes for everyone, no doubt.

If you dream of a clean bathroom which is easy to use, it means everything is working well with you right now and you can just keep doing what you are doing.

If you dream of a clogged bathroom or toilet it means there is some work to do to unclog the way you express your emotions.

So if you dream of a dirty or broken bathroom then you can ask yourself: Where in my life am I holding back some negative emotions and how can I express these things in a better way?

Consider where in your life things are messy or complicated or uncomfortable. Wherever you experience a high degree of stress in your day-to-day life then you can notice that this is the problem area showing up in your dream and you can take steps to make the challenges go away.

The right way to deal with negative emotions will have something to do with your own natural gifts, skills and capacities. The things which come easiest to you and which you have been doing all your life will be a hint at the way you can continue growing by repeating your positive strengths. When you do that, you’ll find bathroom dreams keep getting better and better and maybe stop showing up altogether.