Category Archives: Anger

If You Dream of a Clogged Toilet, Start Looking For Better Ways to Let Go of Your S*&T.

17 September 2017

One of the most misunderstood metaphors in DreamWork/Changework is theIMG_0874 BATHROOM. Using a bathroom in a dream can best be understood by first noticing where is the bathroom? Is it in your home? Or a public location like a restaurant or school? Is it in an unusual place like an open field? The location of the bathroom in your dream can give you clues as to the message of the metaphor.

The problem with writing or talking about bathrooms in dreams is because they are the most private parts of a home or a public space. A bathroom dream symbolizes the most private parts of the dreamer. How the dreamer deals with anger, jealousy and embarrassment will show up as a dream about using the bathroom.

The positive message about a bathroom dream is that every human being experiences anger, rage, jealousy or embarrassment at one time or another in their lives. Since the purpose of life is to continue growing and developing skills & capacities it means the best way to live is in a constant state of change. Sometimes change is messy and sometimes it’s embarrassing. That is completely okay and to be expected. The better a person gets at working through their anger, jealousy, disappointments, anxieties, etc the better they will get at making their life really work out in amazing ways.

In my dreamwork this morning I was reminded that I have a tendency to hold things in and not want to share the very most private parts of myself. People might chuckle at this, given the very public nature of The Dreamwork Blog but believe it or not, I tend to be more of an introvert and there are parts of myself which I really don’t want to share publicly.

This goes for everyone, no doubt.

If you dream of a clean bathroom which is easy to use, it means everything is working well with you right now and you can just keep doing what you are doing.

If you dream of a clogged bathroom or toilet it means there is some work to do to unclog the way you express your emotions.

So if you dream of a dirty or broken bathroom then you can ask yourself: Where in my life am I holding back some negative emotions and how can I express these things in a better way?

Consider where in your life things are messy or complicated or uncomfortable. Wherever you experience a high degree of stress in your day-to-day life then you can notice that this is the problem area showing up in your dream and you can take steps to make the challenges go away.

The right way to deal with negative emotions will have something to do with your own natural gifts, skills and capacities. The things which come easiest to you and which you have been doing all your life will be a hint at the way you can continue growing by repeating your positive strengths. When you do that, you’ll find bathroom dreams keep getting better and better and maybe stop showing up altogether.

Dreamwork: Dealing With Someone’s Ego Mess and Moving Forward

13 September 2017

Dreamwork requires asking questions of the dream metaphors.

For example … What is a Mess On The Front Lawn?

The front lawn in the part of the yard seen by everyone. It is the most public part of a home-owners space.

A Mess is a good metaphor for the Ego. An Ego Mess is what happens when someone’s negative ego is trying to make someone else look bad to hide their own weakness & mistakes. The mess can be made up of lies, half-truths, deception, trickery, degradation, mocking, humiliation, chastisement and outright abuse.

A Mess On The Front Lawn left by someone else means someone is doing something which is making a mess of things for me and they are doing it by dumping a lot of stuff on me that doesn’t belong to me.

So what is it that someone can be doing that is making a big mess of my life and making me look bad, ruining my reputation with my landlord and creating issues between me and my neighbours?

There is someone in my life who is related to me who does exactly that. However, the battle with her is over now. When the dream shows up with her in it, I know it is left over feelings about the way she used to be, the way she used to treat me. And as I let go of the old negatives then I make room for new positives.

Everyone has dreams or nightmares about what happens to them when someone creates an ego mess in their lives. The way we learn to deal with the negatives strengthens our own character and is a breeding ground for seeds of positive growth and change.

The solution to this dream is to not stand still frozen on the lawn wondering what to do next. The solution is to 1) ask the owner to take her things off my lawn 2) talk directly to my ex-step-dad to see if he’ll take it all off 3) report the situation to the police 4) throw all the stuff in the trash and be done with it.

The key is that there are always options. Standing still and frozen does nothing for anyone.

When someone brings a big ol’ mess into your life, just assess the situation, make a decision and keep on movin’.

Getting rid of the clutter and trash is a great way to begin opening the doors to many more great opportunities.

Dreamwork/Changework: Working Through Strong Feelings of Anger, Rage …

[Editorial Note/Update: In the past, I used to write about strong negative emotions and the way to work through them to get to the positive opposite as a way to demonstrate how to make really powerful transformation happen immediately. This approach that I use works every time, is long-lasting, and profound. However, I am no longer using this open forum to demonstrate the process of transformation publicly. This post, written back in September 2017, is an example of those kinds of “process posts” I used to do. What Courage and Confidence it takes to share such a personal experience in such a public way! The key in any transformation is to notice the negative, notice where it shows up in the body, name the emotion and then use a variety of ways to let it go. Either with visualization techniques or with various writing exersizes the emotion can really be detached from nearly entirely and a much more positive experience can be brought to light. So I just ask when you read this to not judge me and to understand where I was coming from when I wrote this. I was writing as a way to support others who are still living with their abusers, who are still suffering in domestic violence situations, who are trapped in their own anger/rage and don’t see a way out. I hope my open posts about processing negatives provides a way out. That is my intention. Thank you.]

13 September 2017

Anyone who knows me will tell you that my sense of direction is weak.

I can turn out onto a street and then lose track of where I am going and have to turn around again. At this point in my life I realize that even though I have gotten better to a degree in this area, I will likely never have a “good sense of direction.” My mind is just not equipped with excellent spacial awareness. With attention and effort it has gotten better, yes, but it will likely never be 100%.

If someone is driving with me and going through the period of “I’m a bit lost/turned around … just give me a second” it can cause anyone a relative degree of frustration. I understand that. What I need at that time is to just get myself grounded and centered again until I can re-focus and continue on. I need a few minutes. I need a breather.

When I don’t get what I need, which sometimes happens because it’s inevitable that things do not always go the way we want in life, I find myself getting angry.

Sometimes when I’m feeling angry I can feel the heat rising in my chest and I can feel my face get hot. Who knows if I actually turn red but I can feel the anger as though it’s burning in my eyes and lips. I don’t like to feel that way. I’d prefer to avoid it. In the past, I used to endure a high degree of negative behaviour no matter how angry it made me feel, but not anymore.

Now, as soon as I start to feel that hot anger rising within me I start thinking about what I can do to change. Sometimes I can change the way I’m looking at a situation. Sometimes I can change where I am or what I’m doing. Sometimes I can change the way I’m speaking. The possibilities for change are endless.

Taking a few big deep breaths and coming at a conversation with a fresh perspective is always helpful in dealing with a situation which is causing anger.

In the past, I also used an Anger work sheet created by Richard Hastings. The questions on this work sheet would help me notice what was causing the anger. There are questions such as: when was the earliest time I remember feeling that kind of anger?how do I cause this to myself? and then also what can I do to have more Peacefulness?

Going through this worksheet helped me to take responsibility for my strong emotions and it really helped me to turn them around to something much more productive & positive.

If you haven’t had the chance to work through your anger in this way, I’d strongly recommend it. You might be surprised at the high degree of Peacefulness & Gratitude which emerges.

The Metaphor of a MESS: How it Symbolizes EGO & What To Do To Deal With It

22 August 2017

Alright.

This has been a topic I’ve avoided writing about for some time.

I’ve written about the “mess” I inherited & learned in early childhood but I haven’t written directly about how messes show up with others and how to deal with it in a way which is long-lasting and permanent.

So messes can show up in a dream in a variety of ways.

If there is a mess in a house it means there is something happening with the ego which is affecting the positive development of the self.

If there is a mess in a yard it means there is something negative happening which influences or is influenced by others in a more public way.

If there is a mess in a building or in office place then it is about how the ego is affecting productive development between people who are working together, in a profession or in any type of agreement or working arrangement.

A MESS in a dream means someone clearly has an ISSUE around the area, be it the Self, or the Work, or the Social Setting.

When someone has an issue it means there has been an early experience of trauma in that area and the memory of it is still really strong in the mind and affects the person regularly. It means they have a negative part of themself which shows up when they are afraid of something and this negative part creates a so-called MESS of some sort which has the effect of slowing or stopping the relationship, the progress, the work, etc.

When this is understood, then it is easy to help people through their fear-based trauma reaction by offering encouragement, reassurance, patience, kindness, etc. When the trust is re-built and the fear dissolved then work can continue in whatever area needed.

So if you dream of a big mess, in your house, or your work space, or your neighbourhood then you can start asking yourself, “Where in my life is the biggest mess?” and try to discern “Who am I having the biggest challenge with right now?” What is someone doing that is causing a big mess and what does it lead you to do?

When you can start to understand their fear and their ego-mess you can have increased patience and loving-kindness towards them.

Incredible challenges can be overcome with this approach.

Go ahead. Give it a try. And feel free to write about the experience in the comments below.

Changing With Dreamwork

29 August 2017

In the dream, I go with my daughter and sister to my Mom’s house. It’s cluttered, messy & dirty. My daughter is really young. At one time she’s about 3 years old and then another time she’s an infant. In the dream, I wanted to learn from my mom about how to be a caring mother but instead she was following me around the apartment and criticizing me.

I took good care of my daughter based on instinct, despite the environment being cluttered and messy. I wrapped her up in warm clothes and talked to her sweetly. Told her I loved her.

Then when I looked up my mom had 3 guns. She kept one for herself and gave one to my dad and one to my sister. She started aiming and firing at me, and my daughter.

I couldn’t get all three guns out of their hands so I called 911 and they said they’d send someone over but while I was talking on the phone then she changed her approach. She stopped firing but she started speaking in really negative words. I told her that her negative words are just like bullets, emotional bullets. She didn’t stop.

Then I grabbed her face and lips and tried to shut them.

She acted like an android and did not have a natural human response to that kind of stimuli. She didn’t flinch. She didn’t move a muscle and tried to just keep talking in her poisonous words.

I became filled with rage and felt like I wanted to kill her. To stop her and to end her violence. But I am not a killer. So I just pushed her away. She returned to the kitchen as though looking for something, like a cup to pour coffee in.

I was still on the phone with the officer and asked directions on how to get out of here.

Next I was on a Go Train and my sister was with me. She was tried from all the fighting and she rested her head on my lap. We got to our stop and got off but I didn’t really recognize where we were. I was carrying my daughter as an infant with us and got on a bike but then had to get off when the hill became too steep.

I walked the bike to the bottom and someone told me I’d have to pay Google for use of the bike because of some new trademark thing. I thought it was ridiculous.

Also I saw someone who wanted to commit suicide and I encouraged him not to.

Lastly, I bought something for $87 and it came out of my account which only had $94. I wondered when things will change.