04 February 2018
I am in a large conference room when suddenly a woman, wearing a bright orange shirt and clearly 9 or 10 months pregnant stands up and says her water just broke. While everyone else is staring at her in shock, I grab my keys from my pocket and say, “Okay, I can take you!” She nods in agreement and we leave the building.
We get to the hospital without issue and the baby is delivered without incident. Then, for some reason, she asks me to watch after the baby while she is in the hospital after delivery. I say, Yes, and bring the baby home and put it to rest in a crib. My boyfriend and I then start tidying up the house, doing dishes and we’re really playful and happy.
Then someone from my past comes to the back door of the house. He’s let his beard grow out and with his jet black long bushy hair he looks a lot like Black Beard The Pirate. But he walks into the house as though he owns it.
My boyfriend looks him over and sees he’s somewhat a threat but also somewhat friendly and he gives me a glance so as to say, “You know this guy? You want me to get him out of here or leave him alone?”
I nod back and smile so as to say, “I’ve got this.”
I greet the intruder and ask how everything is and if I can do something for them.
He says in his gruffley but friendly tone that he heard I’ve been watching the new baby and he wondered how things are going and can he see the baby. I realize he’s there to check in on me but I tell him it’s no problem and we go up to the room.
We go into the room where I think I’ve left the baby and look in the crib and to my horror he’s not there. I shuffle my hands around the blankets and can’t find him anywhere. I look around the room to see if he’s in another bed and I quickly dart my eyes to the floor to see if he’s rolled out but there’s no sign of him anywhere.
Just as I’m about to admit to the terrible horror then I remember that there is another room & I quickly jolt out to check and sure enough, there he is sleeping as soundly as can be.
The intruder/friend smiles too and says everything looks like it’s going fine here and I say, Yes, it’s a big house and I’m getting used to it but all is well.
He says he’ll be going then and my boyfriend and I return to the kitchen to wash and play and laugh.
* The interpretation of this dream makes sense when considered in light of the idea of transformation. When there has been abuse or trauma in the past, it can show up in a variety of ways in a dream. In this case. an intruder coming into the space when it is happy and playful is a lot like the way abuse happens in real life. The intruder/abuser is all full of their negative thoughts, ideas and beliefs and they just want to fill the room with their negative words and actions. The other person doesn’t stand a chance against that high degree of negativity.
This dream shows the progressed state though because even though an uninvited intruder came in, he had a somewhat more curious and interested state, more friendly than aggressive. And what he found was that all was well so he had nothing negative to say and he left. This is what happens in real life when the target of abuse or the target of a narcissist overcomes the issues and develops new skills and capacities. There’s just nothing negative left for the intruder/abuser to balk at.
Another good sign of progress in this dream is subtle and only meaningful to me but I will share it so others will also begin to look to the very subtle and meaningful personal symbols in their dreams.
Many years ago, in about 2012 I started using the metaphor of a “mess” to think of the mess the divorce was creating in my life. A mountainous, messy pile of dishes in the kitchen was the perfect metaphor for my divorce and the left over messy behaviour fro the marriage. It was like I had to learn to leave a “messy pile of dishes” that someone else created and instead of cleaning it up I had to let them figure out how to clean it up. This was the metaphor.
Now, many years after the separation and divorce, this dream is showing me that the issues have gotten so much better that there are no longer any dirty dishes! Not only that, I am enjoying doing them and putting them away with someone I’m in a close personal relationship with and we have fun together putting the mess away.
This image brings so much happiness to my mind and heart and fills me with a sensation of warmth and love.
Intruders, abusers & negative behaviour doesn’t stand a chance in the warm & positive environment of a loving relationship.
That’s why I really like this dream and am happy to share it with others.
I hope in time, more people will also share their dreams here too. It’s just so great to share with others and keep growing all the time.
17 September 2017
One of the most misunderstood metaphors in DreamWork/Changework is the BATHROOM. Using a bathroom in a dream can best be understood by first noticing where is the bathroom? Is it in your home? Or a public location like a restaurant or school? Is it in an unusual place like an open field? The location of the bathroom in your dream can give you clues as to the message of the metaphor.
The problem with writing or talking about bathrooms in dreams is because they are the most private parts of a home or a public space. A bathroom dream symbolizes the most private parts of the dreamer. How the dreamer deals with anger, jealousy and embarrassment will show up as a dream about using the bathroom.
The positive message about a bathroom dream is that every human being experiences anger, rage, jealousy or embarrassment at one time or another in their lives. Since the purpose of life is to continue growing and developing skills & capacities it means the best way to live is in a constant state of change. Sometimes change is messy and sometimes it’s embarrassing. That is completely okay and to be expected. The better a person gets at working through their anger, jealousy, disappointments, anxieties, etc the better they will get at making their life really work out in amazing ways.
In my dreamwork this morning I was reminded that I have a tendency to hold things in and not want to share the very most private parts of myself. People might chuckle at this, given the very public nature of The Dreamwork Blog but believe it or not, I tend to be more of an introvert and there are parts of myself which I really don’t want to share publicly.
This goes for everyone, no doubt.
If you dream of a clean bathroom which is easy to use, it means everything is working well with you right now and you can just keep doing what you are doing.
If you dream of a clogged bathroom or toilet it means there is some work to do to unclog the way you express your emotions.
So if you dream of a dirty or broken bathroom then you can ask yourself: Where in my life am I holding back some negative emotions and how can I express these things in a better way?
Consider where in your life things are messy or complicated or uncomfortable. Wherever you experience a high degree of stress in your day-to-day life then you can notice that this is the problem area showing up in your dream and you can take steps to make the challenges go away.
The right way to deal with negative emotions will have something to do with your own natural gifts, skills and capacities. The things which come easiest to you and which you have been doing all your life will be a hint at the way you can continue growing by repeating your positive strengths. When you do that, you’ll find bathroom dreams keep getting better and better and maybe stop showing up altogether.
13 September 2017
Dreamwork requires asking questions of the dream metaphors.
For example … What is a Mess On The Front Lawn?
The front lawn in the part of the yard seen by everyone. It is the most public part of a home-owners space.
A Mess is a good metaphor for the Ego. An Ego Mess is what happens when someone’s negative ego is trying to make someone else look bad to hide their own weakness & mistakes. The mess can be made up of lies, half-truths, deception, trickery, degradation, mocking, humiliation, chastisement and outright abuse.
A Mess On The Front Lawn left by someone else means someone is doing something which is making a mess of things for me and they are doing it by dumping a lot of stuff on me that doesn’t belong to me.
So what is it that someone can be doing that is making a big mess of my life and making me look bad, ruining my reputation with my landlord and creating issues between me and my neighbours?
There is someone in my life who is related to me who does exactly that. However, the battle with her is over now. When the dream shows up with her in it, I know it is left over feelings about the way she used to be, the way she used to treat me. And as I let go of the old negatives then I make room for new positives.
Everyone has dreams or nightmares about what happens to them when someone creates an ego mess in their lives. The way we learn to deal with the negatives strengthens our own character and is a breeding ground for seeds of positive growth and change.
The solution to this dream is to not stand still frozen on the lawn wondering what to do next. The solution is to 1) ask the owner to take her things off my lawn 2) talk directly to my ex-step-dad to see if he’ll take it all off 3) report the situation to the police 4) throw all the stuff in the trash and be done with it.
The key is that there are always options. Standing still and frozen does nothing for anyone.
When someone brings a big ol’ mess into your life, just assess the situation, make a decision and keep on movin’.
Getting rid of the clutter and trash is a great way to begin opening the doors to many more great opportunities.
22 August 2017
This has been a topic I’ve avoided writing about for some time.
I’ve written about the “mess” I inherited & learned in early childhood but I haven’t written directly about how messes show up with others and how to deal with it in a way which is long-lasting and permanent.
So messes can show up in a dream in a variety of ways.
If there is a mess in a house it means there is something happening with the ego which is affecting the positive development of the self.
If there is a mess in a yard it means there is something negative happening which influences or is influenced by others in a more public way.
If there is a mess in a building or in office place then it is about how the ego is affecting productive development between people who are working together, in a profession or in any type of agreement or working arrangement.
A MESS in a dream means someone clearly has an ISSUE around the area, be it the Self, or the Work, or the Social Setting.
When someone has an issue it means there has been an early experience of trauma in that area and the memory of it is still really strong in the mind and affects the person regularly. It means they have a negative part of themself which shows up when they are afraid of something and this negative part creates a so-called MESS of some sort which has the effect of slowing or stopping the relationship, the progress, the work, etc.
When this is understood, then it is easy to help people through their fear-based trauma reaction by offering encouragement, reassurance, patience, kindness, etc. When the trust is re-built and the fear dissolved then work can continue in whatever area needed.
So if you dream of a big mess, in your house, or your work space, or your neighbourhood then you can start asking yourself, “Where in my life is the biggest mess?” and try to discern “Who am I having the biggest challenge with right now?” What is someone doing that is causing a big mess and what does it lead you to do?
When you can start to understand their fear and their ego-mess you can have increased patience and loving-kindness towards them.
Incredible challenges can be overcome with this approach.
Go ahead. Give it a try. And feel free to write about the experience in the comments below.