Category Archives: Mess

Dreamwork: Garbage Mess in the Backyard

22 March 2017

In the dream, I am standing at the fence in my backyard and have found animals have gotten into the garbage bags which are now laying all over the yard.

Mess in a dream or as a metaphor is one way to think about how the ego works.

What do I mean by that?

It’s explained in more detail in the 19-Day Transformation Program by Richard Hastings, but basically, if you think of your True Self striving for positive goals or striving for development of excellence and if you think of the ego as being the part of our being which has a lot of fear then when fear steps in it can cause a mess for the True Self.

When a person is just starting out with transformation work then it can take a lot of time and effort to identify the fears or anxieties and to work through them so that they cannot interfere with progress anymore. In time, it becomes easier to spot your own patterns and tendencies and then ego messes not only get easier and easier to clean up, eventually the ego stops making them at all.

So for me to dream of a mess in my backyard is a symbol of an old ego pattern but in this case I have done a significant amount of work on this issue so the mess is no big deal. In fact, a part of me now gets excited when an opportunity to do some work with a mess shows up.

It means there’s some learning to do and some application of new and old skills.

In the past, when I saw a mess I would have felt so afraid but now when I see it, I feel excited.

When I reflect on the mess and the work involved in cleaning it up I feel grateful at the opportunity and have enthusiasm for the discoveries ahead.

 

Dream: Bloody Injury, 911, Ex-Roommate

Dreamed and published on 07 March 2017

My work and writing challenges what people think about roommates, life partners, and spousal relationships.

One way to think of it is this – Imagine I had a roommate for 10 years who wanted to have sex with me whenever he wanted and it didn’t seem to really matter to him if I wanted to or not. Emotionally this would be devastating for me. If I told you this was a roommate who was doing this action you might perhaps say “that’s rape”…and if I told you that it was a husband who did this action to me then you might say “well, he is your husband afterall…so as a wife it’s your duty isn’t it?”

Is it? Is it really?

Is it my duty because I’m a woman to just give up my mental, emotional and spiritual Strength to surrender my body to a man just because he has a desire for physical pleasure? Even if it devastates me and takes days or weeks to recover from the uncomfortable and unfortunate situation? Even if it takes weeks and during that time I cannot focus on work, or child raising, or participating in community events? Even if the recovery from such an uncomfortable situation is so time-consuming and challenging that I cannot tend to my financial responsibilities as an adult? Even if those unfortunate events destroy me financially – is it my duty to do this because I am not just a roommate but a spouse?

Is he my owner? Does he own my body? Is that what makes marriage into Marriage? Is that what differentiates a roommate from a spouse? The degree to which they can take possession of the woman’s body without legal or social consequences?

These are questions which came to mind today as I reflected on a dream I had about an ex-roommate.

Here is the dream. People will find it useful to research into things such as narcissism, self-defense, and positive parenting after they read the type of dream I had last night and wonder how to turn the negative behaviours of others into positives for your own self and growth.

Here is the dream:

I was on the 6th floor of a building. A woman wearing black and white stripes entered the room which had a feel of an office but was also very casual. I noticed immediately that there was fresh red blood on her shirt above her heard and below her collar bone. I mentioned it to her to offer to help.

Surprisingly, she covered up the area with her hand and then told me there was no blood but I knew what I saw. There was blood. She was lying.

She proceeded to flip through papers on her desk and I reached for my red First Aid bag telling her I had First Aid and I was going to help. Others in the room saw her deception and they didn’t know what to do so they stood back which was good as it gave me space to work but the bad thing is that they then started criticizing my work. Usually when in a first responder situation the person with training stays with the victim and instructs someone else to make a call to 911. But in this case, no one would call 911 as I instructed.

That left me scrambling to try to help with the blood which I was afraid was coming from the heart and also reaching with one arm into my pocket rendering me looking a bit foolish. Instead of helping, the others called me foolish-looking.

As I was calling I learned that there was someone else in the bathroom bleeding from a larger wound, like a knife wound. It was even more serious and more urgent. So I reported this in the call too.

When the ambulance arrived someone did inform me and I was grateful for that. They even helped me make sure I had everything that the patients and I needed when we got to the hospital. I ran down 6 flights of stairs to get the ambulance which nearly left because we were taking so long to get there.

Eventually both patients got to the hospital and everything was okay.

Later I fell asleep in a truck with Gracie.

Her dad approached, saw I was sleeping and lured her out of the truck with promises of “fun things” so she got out and I then got up too.

I approached him in the parkinglot and went into a strong fighting stance asking him, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing much,” he said casually, trying to deceive me.

“Well it looks to me like something much is going on,” and I made myself really tall. “I’m the senior here and I’m the one in authority,” I told him “and Gracie isn’t going anywhere.”

And he said, “Yeah fine. Whatever.” And he backed away.

Then I was like, “Yeah that’s right. That’s how it is.” And I took my daughter’s hand and we went back to what we were doing.

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So the important thing when working with dreams and metaphors is to remember that the person in the dream is a SYMBOL for something and that it doesn’t necessarily mean there is a literal application immediately. In time it becomes clear what is to be literal and what is not.

The person in this dream who was trying to take my daughter away from me is just a symbol of narcissistic behaviour and you can learn more about destroying that kind of negativity in your life at this link  to YouTube videos by Aydin RD.

This dream reveals the two ways in which people can deal with injuries. They can cover up the bleeding and pretend its not there, like the first woman, and this behaviour comes across as deceptive and dishonest. Or they can just obviously bleed out and while it is somewhat more messy and potentially embarrassing because it is obvious it is a more honest situation and is therefore actually easier to clean up and deal with.

If we think of the two types of injured people in my dream we can see two ways which narcissists act – one is to be overt with their bad behaviour symbolized in the dream with the woman bleeding in the bathroom and the other is to be covert and hidden with their bad behaviour such as the woman who lied about being injured.

It is much harder to deal with the covert negativity because it is hidden. But it can be done, as my dream shows.

Communication is the key. That’s why I was reaching for my phone in the dream.

That’s all I can say today.

If you have dealt with a negative person in the past or are dealing with it now, please feel free to write about it in the comments section and lets see what strategies work to keep your self protected so you can grow your own positive qualities and enjoy the life you were meant to have.

Dream: Cold, Farm House

Good morning Richard,

Last night I had a marvellous dream that really seems to deal with this issue of “letting go of the cold” and I am so grateful to be finally understanding this aspect of myself in greater detail as I am sure that “warming” up this side of myself will serve to increase my capacity to love and be loved.

I am fowarding you my dream from last night  – but today as I was reading the dream interpretations from the last week and doing some journalling around the themes here, I came across a dream series that I had one night and then forgot to send it (it was dreamed the night before my angry dream of my daughter.)

Thank you so very much.

“Warmly” – Rachel 🙂

 

LETTING GO OF THE FARM HOUSE

I’m in the old farm house packing up the contents of the rooms into boxes. In every room there is clutter, mess and filth. I am there alone. There are so many bad memories coming back. Memories about how I tried to help my parents and my family. In my old bedroom, it is small and cramped. I don’t have enough boxes for the stuff. In the kitchen, someone has packed it up and I am amazed at how much space is there once all the clutter is gone. I look and say, “it’s too bad it was always so cluttered because it could have been a really great home.” There’s a lot of space here. And I envision what it would have looked like with brand new furniture and how we all could have enjoyed the room.

There’s some things to bring over to a Baha’i friend’s house. (www.bahai.org) So I put them in my pocket and go over. We are in her room playing and having fun, then we go downstairs to eat. Her parents are there, the atmosphere is jovial. Her mom is laughing, saying, “Hey Rache! Look at this” and then make a funny face or joke about something…stuff like that. I see on the doors to all the rooms my friend has put a little note with a photo and a saying a quote about love on them. She says, “I’m just trying to get them all to love a little more.” And I think to myself that she is lucky there was even potential in this home for love and acceptance. In my home, I would have been too afraid to even do something like that. I would have felt afraid to reach out like that and wouldn’t have been accepted.

So I put these two little plastic containers on the counter that I had brought for them. I had been excited about delivering them, but now I look at them and can’t remember why they were significant. One has some salad dressing in it, the other has some sauce. I feel really foolish. The mom is looking at me with that strange look like I am mentally unstable and have done something inappropriate. I know my friend accepts me but she doesn’t get it either. I feel absolutely devastated and all my strength is gone. I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself and where I come from.

I say it doesn’t matter but it’s time to go now. I head to the door to put my stuff on.

I remember that I had left something back at the farm house and want to go get it and bring it back.

My daughter is with me now at the front door. She is dressed similar to me and is joyful and happy and I am so grateful to see her. I feel accepted and loved and good. I wrap her scarf around her and mine around me. I am telling them all good bye, I’m leaving to move far away, going to go be a teacher. And the more I think about it, I just want to go, I don’t want to go get the stuff and come back. So I am saying good bye in a “forever” kind of a way and And the mom says, “What about the house?” And I say, rather definitlely “I have to let go of that old farm house,” and I wake up.

I am sitting at a long table with many people. Most appear to be Native. A baby is in the arms of her father a few feet away from me. I can tell the baby is not healthy but I know I am not allowed to say anything to help – it is not socially acceptable. The baby is crying and appears to have legos stuck on its eyes. The father is holding her and trying to give her Tylenol but the baby chokes and is not swallowing well. She is crying and I say to someone beside me that the baby doesn’t need Tylenol; she is crying to try to tell us what is wrong. The baby looks like a co-worker of mine whose last name is “Swallow.” The mother is just watching passively and not doing anything.

I am sitting on a blanket in a yard amongst others who are also in various activities, sort of a park environment. I am talking to a Native woman who is about my age. I am talking to her about some parenting program or something like that. Then she looks at me and says, “I can’t believe we just met now.” I just look at her confused. She repeats herself and so I look at her more intently to see if I knew her. She has long dark hair, a round face with shining eyes. I say, “I think we have known each other our whole lives.” I then change my attitude towards her and see that she is not someone for me to teach but someone who is my equal, my friend and who I will learn from as well.

I have a glass container of chai seeds (a new food i’ve introduced to my diet in waking life). I put in a lot of water and then some peanut butter and I cover them up with the intention that they will sprout over night and I look forward to eating them tomorrow.

 

Rachel

The key to letting go for you is seeing what happened to you in your life as an advantage rather than a disadvantage.   First of all God gave you a experiences with  cold relationships that were full of clutter.   In those experiences you somehow learned to how to visualize the opposite, that is,  how to have an organized environment that respects and gives everyone space.      The Baha’i home taught you how to have relationships based upon love and warmth and mutual regard for each other.

What keeps you from living fully in the new processes are the strong memories of the clutter and then coldness in your own home.     Your mind/emotions will let go of the reality of your past when it believes that the higher spiritual qualities are strongly implanted in your memory.

To do this you can hold both pictures in your mind simultaneously and then just let go of the old negative one.     To do this draw both images or paint them or just write them and then gradually spend more time with the positive images.

Richard

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Thank you Richard – I truly hope this is not too much for you. I am so grateful for this service you provide. Your last interpretation was profoundly true and implementing the guidance from my dreams this past week will change my life. I am so grateful. Many many thanks. Warm regards, Rachel

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Rachel

I am anxious to hear about the results.

Richard