Category Archives: TraumaWork

How To Deal With Negative Figures in Dreams

In the dream,  I hear that someone has bit someone and hung on for 12 hours while they cried and screamed. This person was in a home with someone else and the two of them joked about the word “evil” a lot as if it had no meaning and was funny. I saw them in the kitchen looking in the fridge and didn’t enter.


Everyone has someone in their life who has spoken to them negatively. Often times in families or a work environment, there is at least one individual who is just hungry for power and likes to make people around them feel bad at every moment. They don’t even care if someone suffers loudly for hours and hours, days and days, years and years.

It makes no difference to them how others feel, so long as they feel good.

The reason for this type of behaviour is that everyone has a higher and lower nature, everyone has “good” and “bad” within them. Everyone has potential to grow and potential to decompose, so to speak.

Sometimes the life circumstances of someone causes them to put up an ego-shield of protection. They may turn to anger, or to dishonesty, or to stealing, or any number of addictions to numb the pain of their life circumstance. Eventually over time, if nothing is done to stop the pattern the person begins to identify so strongly with the negative ego-pattern it is as if they come to believe it can be the only way they can be.

The problem with the ego is that it has two favourite things which it doesn’t like – Ego doesn’t like change. And ego doesn’t like to feel alone.

An unchecked ego will go to all sorts of extremes to avoid change and to avoid having to feel alone, even if the actions hurt other people.

So what to do about this?

It is useful to first remember that we all have ego operating within us to some degree or another. The change we can make to experiencing more of the life we want to live is actually within our power when we can find how ego is operating within ourselves and seek to be free from some of its trappings.

Easier said than done, right?

It’s actually not as hard as you might at first think.

When the negative figure shows up in a dream, then it is an opportunity to check in with yourself about this and see where you can grow. The dream just gives you a clue into the area you can still work on and develop.

Just starting with a simple question such as: What is the biggest challenge I am facing right now? And, “What am I afraid of?”

Just these beginning questions can start a journey of transformation which leads to being free from shackles of ego and living much more in alignment with who you are and what you really want to be doing!





Bathroom Dreams: Cleaning up the S*** Metaphorically

Warning: This dream and analysis is about a topic we don’t usually talk about much in our culture but it is just a metaphor for processing emotions, which we don’t talk much about either. If you want to skip over this, no problem.


In the dream, I’m traveling with a group and when we go into the centre we find both bathrooms are very dirty because staff is waiting for industrial cleaners on the evening shift. One bathroom has blood stains all over it. The other has feces all over it, ground into the walls & floors. We are forced to choose one or the other. I choose the one with feces. As I approach it, I have a mixed feeling about if I’m going in to use the facilities or to clean it. 


Bathroom dreams are about the private way we process and release emotions such as anger and embarrassment.

Blood is about life and change.

Feces on a wall is about everyone’s “stuff” being out in the open.

The biggest challenge in the dream was to go into a space which was dirty.

I really didn’t want to.

But I did it anyway. I walked into the smelly, dirty, public washroom.

This is about facing feelings of shame or embarrassment.

(By the way: I write about overcoming shame and shameful situations on my other blog If you wanted to check it out.)

And I’m writing more about it today, literally. It’s in the topic of a piece I’m writing for a publication on The Book of Open. It’s were people share their most vulnerable aspects of their stories.  (UPDATE: I’ve published this piece now and it can be found at “I Thought I Didn’t Want Her.”

What I’ve learned is that when I am working with a team and we are learning and processing together, it is meaningful and good. That was the feeling in the dream. The feeling of being all in this together.

While others were discussed by the situation and waited in the hall, I went in and started cleaning.

In real life, as it turns out, this is actually a skill I have. I can go places where others don’t want to go emotionally and I can help to clean up the mess.

Later it looks great and everyone benefits from using the area where I cleaned up.

So even though the feelings in the dream were awkward the message was a reminder to me of something I’m good at which benefits others and I am okay with that.